Saturday, May 31, 2014

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Manos: The Film of Crap

This was by far the worst movie I haver ever watched. Conservatively I've seen at least 20,000 movies so this is no small feat for 'Manos'! The acting was so atrocious any second-rate high school production could put this film's ensemble cast to shame. I've seen more genuine emotion and expression at a church seniors BINGO game.

The plot is flimsy, pedestrian and without any depth. It does not challenge or even interest me in any way whatsoever. This is one of the few non-linear films I've seen that was unintentionally so. You could mix the scenes up and would get the same end product which still stank. Probably the worst film editing I've seen. No real thought or skill is apparent in the process.

This film's cinematography is abhorrent. No planning went into the shots, the lighting was inept; some indoor scenes lit very dark and then a few moments later the room is blazing with over exposure.

The special effects were neither special nor effective! The director had no clue what he was doing. Actors staring blankly at each other for 2 minutes takes real genius to produce :)

There are some very awful movies that have been made yet usually one can find some redeeming quality in the film. 'Manos' has no such quality! The seminal moment of action in the film when the Master's zombie beauties fight amongst themselves was devoid of any sincerity or emotional impact. They might as well have been arguing over which hair spray worked best!

This movie felt like an eternity and were it not for the humor interjected by MST3K I would have turned it off in the first few minutes. I urge you to not watch this film. Please let it die.
'Manos: The Hands of Fate' will be the gold standard by which I judge future film atrocities.

Carne trémula (1997)

I am wondering about how this film portrayed fidelity, or specifically the lack thereof! It gives the impression women in Spain will casually cheat on their husband if they feel like it. Elena did not seem to care how much it would hurt her husband and she tells him of her infidelity in a detached manner. Is this a Spanish thing? A European thing? I also noticed in several French films the French women are portrayed as hopping from bed to bed without much care or regret for the men in their lives as long as they satisfy their base carnal lusts. This is sad if true and portrays them as very shallow women. I think this is also a big problem in America. Since sex is viewed now by many as just another recreational sport. Does anyone know of modern films from Spain which portray a higher level of fidelity?

Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

 This film was a good thriller and morality play until the ending ruined it! A shame since it had a lot going for it, albeit Jamie Fox's acting was not very good (he has to be the most overrated A list actor in Hollywood!). However, the ending was so idiotic and contrived it almost ruined the movie for me. Fox went against his own principles and the lofty law to "win" (don't want to spoil it) and thus affirmed everything that Butler's character believed! Ridiculous and irresponsible. They tore down the entire psychology of the movie up to that point and all for what? I loathe director's who think they are being oh so clever with novel 'twist' endings. It just muddies their artistic integrity and the story's continuity.

Bear (2010)

I'm surprised it is averaging a rating of 4 stars on IMDB! For an ostensible thriller there was little genuine suspense or even horror. The acting was plodding and lacked any real depth or nuance. Character development was kept a bare minimum. A pair of brothers and their significant others are in a car on a trip to some steak house to celebrate someone's birthday (I had to fast forward a bit due to the extreme boredom), they go off the main roads for a short-cut, get a flat tire, the arrogant older brother shoots a young bear like 12 times with what appears to be a 9mm handgun, the mother (or father?) bear is very upset and seeks revenge. That's as far as the plot was developed. Nothing much here. At one point as they've crawled to the end of this metal pipe if you look at the left hand corner you can actually see production people shooting the film! This movie tried to do for bears what "Cujo" did for dogs and fell very flat.

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